WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
