Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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