My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
