Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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