Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
