i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
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