He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
