Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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