I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
