i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
How external is "for external use only"?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
