I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
