sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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