I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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