Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
