I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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