3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
