Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼‍♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
