When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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