i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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