Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
