we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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