and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I think I sprained my soul last night
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize