8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
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