just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
