I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
So much Jack, so little girl.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Randomize
