I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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