What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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