...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
