..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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