C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
