Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
