I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I need water and some morals
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
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