you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
false alarm. still invincible.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
