So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
