i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
