So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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