are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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