That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
