I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
