Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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