You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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