walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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