From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
