Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Come see our sink grown plant.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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