If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
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