Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
