Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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