Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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