census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Best friends brother. Beat that.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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