In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
